"why" i'm alone.

there has been an article lately that's been getting a lot of attn:

why you're not married (link.)

the general gist of it is, supposedly, there is one or a combination thereof of the following six qualities that has deemed you an undesirable:

1. you're a bitch

2. you're shallow

3. you're a slut

4. you're a liar

5. you're selfish

6. you're not good enough

i was really intrigued/entertained by the article, if not for the pure inanity of it all. taking into account that we're all ALL of those things at times, the author is a complete #1... i mean she states that she's been married 3x and she's 41. fuck you, lady... fuck you for being able to "make the mistake" of your first two marriages and yet i can't. (not that i want to make two marriage mistakes before i get to the good one, but i digress.)

anyway.

i resent being "informed" as to the reason of my singledom, as it were. i think you have to be a bitch in order to assert yourself and what you want/need in a relationship, i think there's clearly a bit of shallowness involved in weeding through potentials, in terms of being a slut i... well i don't think there's anything wrong with a (safe) healthy sexual appetite... i don't really get into lying but i understand polishing out the rough edges/omitting unnecessary info, being selfish can aide in making sure you don't settle, and... well she may have a bit of a point on the last one. but that's for another post.

THE POINT IS... i think she's way off base. i think there are soooo many reasons as to why one is single.

hence, the rebuttal (link).

what this second author does *brilliantly* is lay out the fucking myriad reasons as to why one can be and/or (get this) choose to be single.

i mean, i'm feeling it:

as i hurtle toward my fourth decade, i am PAINFULLY aware of my single, childless existence. just in this 2011 there have been no less than two dozen marriage/baby announcements; this isn't bitterness, mind you; i want and will have those things-- that's non-negotiable-- but as the second author states, "we all have issues."

am i single? yes (although i've recently started dating a very nice man, so that could be up for debate in the near future). am i okay with it?

...

yea, i am. :)