self-love.

i've been watching HGTV all day-- i love it probably too much considering i don't think i'll ever own my own home.

i've tried to take care of myself as much as possible today: i cleaned, i steamed myself an artichoke and enjoyed it, i rearranged my bedroom, i did a little art project.

i've had a nagging, persistent headache today, and i'm nervous about taking these meds again tonight.

i just feel like crying and being held. i'm tired of feeling this way and don't know how much longer i can cope. i'm scared for the summer to come, bc i'm afraid i'm just going to do the same thing i did last summer, which was soooo self-destructive.

i really hate myself right now. i think i'm garbage. :/